How to Deal with a Problem Child

Dealing with a problem child can be difficult. They can put both our parenting skills and our patience to the test on a daily basis. And at the end of the day, can leave us exhausted, frazzled, and often disappointed in everyone involved for failing to meet the days challenges more successfully.

Parenting tips to improve behavior in a problem child:

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The Kid Pointz points and reward system helps parents maintain consistency by clearly defining the rules that are to be followed, and free iPhone and Droid apps help busy parents stay up to date when adding or subtracting points from a computer is inconvenient.

As children attempt to earn rewards from their personal store, they will want to check their points frequently. Thus, children are naturally drawn to consider their behavior and the specific, positive rewards that will come as they progress. This frequent attention to monitoring points and behaviors, builds a habit of self awareness that will soon pay off as behaviors begin to improve. Smaller goals can easily be replaced with larger as your child gains mastery over new skills.

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• Step back from the situation. Once patience has worn out, it can be very easy to slip into “reaction mode,” and find yourself drawn into power struggles or emotional exchanges with your child. To help put things back in perspective, try imagining that you are fondly recalling this moment to your now-grown child, or that you are watching the drama unfold on television, from the cozy comfort of your favorite chair. The ability to re-frame difficult situations is perhaps one of the most important parenting skills to develop for those who face the frequent frustration that comes with parenting a difficult child and can help tremendously when tensions are running high between parent and child.
• Ask yourself “What is my child trying to do or express?” Remember, problem children are most often simply struggling with a problem that they lack the tools to resolve or express on their own. Be willing to look beyond the surface of your child's actions to discern what is causing the problem behaviors. Where does apathy or anger spring from?
• Empathize. Even as adults, just knowing that someone understands what we are going through, can go a long way towards putting us at ease. Once you've identified what your child is really expressing, motivate and encourage your child using examples and stories from your own life. Not only will this help your problem child feel more at ease, it will help bring you closer as well.
• Redirect. As parents it is our job to help our child define their objectives and motivations and then give them the tools they will need to help them succeed. Share self-control and motivational tips and tricks that have worked for you and others. Help your child choose strategies that will help them meet challenges in various situations.
• Be consistent. With your child, set guidelines to help them curb the problem behavior, and stick to them. Children need structure and consistency to feel safe. Consistently enforcing the rules may seem difficult at first, but you will find that progress is much faster and easier on both parents and child as a result. Additionally, be sure to praise your child when you see them making an extra effort or showing restraint that goes beyond their normal habit.